


How Did We End Up Here

by twinSky



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-26
Updated: 2012-04-26
Packaged: 2017-11-04 08:06:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinSky/pseuds/twinSky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You aren't really sure how this happened, you guys were just supposed to clean the house.<br/>But here you are, sopping wet, him lying on top of you.<br/>It's been awhile and you aren't sure why he isn't getting up, its making you nervous.<br/>And you really can't help but wonder how the hell you ended up like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Did We End Up Here

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are currently very embarrassed. You are on the ground sopping wet shirt torn with a stupid derp on top of you, a bewildered look on his face. Your embarrassment of course though is hidden well behind your anger. That though does not mean you aren’t blushing, hopefully the stupid derp will think it’s because of anger and not because you are flustered.

And as time passes you wonder two things;

How the fuck did this happen?

And

Why the fuck he hadn’t gotten of you yet.

...

Not that you were complaining about that second one though.

== > Be Karkat from the past.

You have successfully become Karkat from some time in the past. Congratulations, want a prize?  Excuse the rudeness the person you are right now is kind of an ass, dont worry though he’s actually very nice though. This however is something they will deny so let’s move on.

You are Karkat Vantas and you are currently very angry. You have somehow been enlisted by this annoying creature to help with cleaning, you do not remember agreeing but you are sure you did because it was a request by the annoying creature.

Said annoying creature is a human named John Egderp. Sorry Egbert, John Egbert. He is the biggest derp you know so you tend to call him Egderp, this also mean you tend to forget it’s not his real last name.

So why would you ever agree to a request from a human you find so annoying?

The answer is very simple actually; you are in love with this adorable little derp. You have been for a very long time. From the moment you laid eyes on the human from your computer on that meteor you were in love. Now of course back then you wanted a kismesis, but still love is love. Over time these feelings changed and they became something you can’t quite describe. It is certainly not one of your amazing troll quadrants. It can’t be because though you are sure your feelings are red, leaning well towards matesprit. It doesn’t stop you from feeling blinding rage towards his idiotic actions, something well reserved to the caliginous quadrant that is kismesis.

You do know however that while you tend to feel this blinding rage you could never achieve kismesis with the derp for various reasons. One being this creature seems incapable of the amount of hate kismesis would require, something you will always fail to understand. Second being, despite these feelings of rage you could never maintain it long enough to form a kismesis. Your feelings are pretty damn red, you know it. You have decided to call it matesprit, since even though you feel anger there is no way you could call it kismesis. Perhaps this is human romance, since they do not have quadrants, and the feelings seem to be all intertwined, but settling on the red feelings.

These feelings you have though are all kept to yourself, because ever since they boy called you out on your aspiring black feelings and flat out rejected them, saying he was ‘not a homosexual’, you knew that this would forever be a one-sided relationship. This was frustrating for you because deep inside something had already chosen the derp as your mate, and nothing could change it.

You were doomed to forever be alone because even the caliginous quadrant seemed closed off to you, you didn’t want anyone else, but the one you wanted didn’t want you.

You looked out the window, wanting to get your mind off these thoughts, even if just for the moment since they always came back, trying to depress you. Outside the sun was shining, not the sun you were accustomed to on Alternia but the Earth sun, just as bright but far less annoying. When everything was said and done, both Jack and Lord English defeated everyone had settled onto the Alpha version of the kid’s planet.

It has been 3 years since it had all ended; you were 9 sweeps old or 19 in human years, as was everyone else. Everyone was happy now, when it was said and done everything reset, all the players who had died came back, the non-players though, remained dead.

Trolls and humans lived in peace, which wasn’t really surprising since as far as they knew it had always been that way, the kids however knew otherwise. It sometimes made things weird, having memories of something that to the rest of the world never happened, but you all learned to cope.

You currently lived with John in the house he had lived in before everything happened. His dad was no longer there, so the house remained empty until they went. At first John had lived alone, but you knew it made him sad being there all alone. And although you knew it was bad idea for yourself, being around someone you loved but knew didn’t feel the same was real hard, it was worth it. Because when you saw his face light up in that adorable derpy smile of his, you couldn’t help but smile back.

“AARGHHH!” you scrunched your hair in frustration, you were trying to get your mind off of him and you ended up back where you started. Why the fuck did you fall in love with such an idiotic adorable loser.

“Karkat are you alright?” You glance over and notice him looking at you, concern evident on his features.  And although you know it’s simply concern for a friend you can’t help but wish it was something more.

“Yes I’m fine Egderp, why wouldn’t I?” you dont mean to sound rude or sarcastic but you know you do. And when his concern turns into a more dejected and sad look you can’t help but want to punch yourself in the face.

“Oh... well okay!” His frown turns into a smile though he doesn’t look as happy as normal; you seriously want to punch yourself right now. “Just give me a minute to get everything ready, a few things are still missing.” You really should have declined his request; this was going to be a trial of your patience, you were going to regret this oh so much. While you loved spending time with John a lot more than you cared to admit, it was hard sometimes to keep yourself from being an idiot and blurting out your feelings. This was going to take awhile and it would be just the two of you. Even though you lived together you guys rarely spent long periods together doing such a task. Someone was always over, today was actually a rare day in which no one planned on coming over. And if no one was over you guys were somewhere with them. Time actually spent at home was spent playing videogames watching movies or in their own rooms doing whatever they wanted.

This however was a task that would be rather quiet the only sound being their talking, since there was no way in hell it was going to be quiet if the derp was involved. You rubbed your arm staring off into space, this was already unbearable and you hadn’t even started.

You glanced at the heir of breath, you rarely called him that since he didn’t like the title, it made him feel to important, and who was currently crouched in front of a cupboard looking for something.

You wished you were the derp sometimes; he probably was so calm right now, not having stupid emotions in the way of everything.

== > Be the derp

You have now become the derp. Who is rather annoyed that you are calling him that, he has a name. John Egbert as you already know from being the other guy earlier. Not that John knows that, he’s always has been and always will be John.

Anyway you are currently looking for the ever elusive bucket, not for anything bad though! You have finally learned what a bucket means, or well used to mean, in troll culture. While none of these new trolls see anything wrong with them the ones from the game still feel slightly uneasy around them. However they know what they are used for here, and use them as well, albeit a bit reluctantly.

Aha! There it is, hidden behind something you dont even know, nor care to figure out. You take it out of its prison in the cupboard and allow it to see the light of day. You laugh slightly at your own stupidity.

You take the bucket it to the sink and begin to fill it with water, trying very hard not to think about the troll behind you.

Of course you fail miserably; telling yourself to not think about him only made it more like you would. This time you want to hit yourself because of your stupidity. Sometimes you half believe Dave and Karkat, you probably are missing half your brain, oh well its lost forever.

The previous thought was a brief distraction but again your thoughts turn to the troll standing behind you. His name is Karkat Vantas, which again you already know but it’s always nice to have a reminder. The troll has been living with you for 3 years now and couldn’t be happier.

Every once in awhile you look back to what happened before the game ended, mainly every interaction you had with the troll. And you can’t help but feel stupid. Karkat liked you back then but you had rejected him, flat out saying that you were ‘not a homosexual’ and you can’t help but want to go back and slap yourself repeatedly in the face. You were thirteen back then, what the hell did you know about love or sexuality. You had never thought of anyone in that way, hell the closest you came to a crush was with Nic Cage, and he was a dude. You resist the urge to face palm. Just how stupid could you be Egbert, you might as well accept the fact that you are the biggest derp ever. You might as well change your last name to Egderp like Dave and Karkat always call you.

You now know you like, possibly love, Karkat. You sigh, since your realization of this, over three years ago, sometime while flying on that ship with Jade and Davesprite, you have become slightly depressed, not enough for others to notice though. You are just slightly less chipper at time; these are the time when you realize Karkat probably doesn’t feel the same way about you. At least not anymore, it’s been 6 years since he confessed and got rejected, why would he still like you and if you confessed why would he accept it. You broke his heart, well maybe not that but you definitely hurt his feelings.

You sigh, he probably hates you now, he’s nice to you, you guess but still! How could he be so nice to you after that? You blink, tears in your eyes, but you quickly brush them away, you dont want Karkat to notice, even though he’s probably not looking at you. As always though, you guessed wrong, he had to be looking for him to yell at you about overfilling the bucket. You glance down and notice that it is indeed overflowing, your hands and wrist are now extremely wet but that’s nothing a towel can’t fix. You turn off the tap and dry your hands not really paying attention.

“Okay Karkat let’s get started!” You smile brightly at him, a gesture he does his best to return, and you can’t help but wonder how he can still smile at you, how he can still stand to be in your presence.

“Yea whatever.” He stands up and brushes dust off his jeans, oh god there’s so much this house really does need the cleaning.

Karkat approaches you as you are mixing soap in with the water, you seem him glance at the bucket, a grimace appearing on his face before disappearing. You still find it silly what they used it for; sometimes even you find it slightly awkward to use them now.

“So what am I going to do?” you glance at him when he speaks, and feel a slight blush form at your cheeks. You are taller than him so it’s somewhat weird to see him from below. He seems so much prettier from this point of view, and you want to hit yourself, he looks the same, you are imagining things and making it more awkward for yourself.

You dont look at him when you reply, not wanting him to see the blush on your face. You see him shuffle his feet uncomfortably, and you feel horrible, your presence is probably making him like this. Why do you suck so much sometimes? “Well I’m going to mop the kitchen first; you can take one of the rags and clean the living room for now.” You hear him mumble a reply, which you dont quite catch but you dont ask him to repeat. He walks to the counter picks a rag and leaves. You hear him mumble something again but like before you dont ask him to repeat.

You stand up from the bucket and grab the mop, wondering what he said.

=== >Be Karkat again.

You are once again the asshole, who is to preoccupied in his own thoughts to care about the insult. And just why is he being so rude ignoring your well thought out insult, you worked so hard on that! You are so going to find out. It is only fair, ignore your insult tell your secrets. Yes it makes perfect sense. Perfect. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Those people are just jealous idiots. Jealous idiots I tell you. Anyways back on topic why dont you go figure out why he was a jerk and ignored you.

You find out it’s because of the mumble you failed to hear as John, but now you get to know what was said since you are said person, and they are currently beating themselves over it, it’s really sad actually.

“Stupid idiotic nooksniffer!” you growl quietly to yourself. Seriously just what were you thinking saying that? You thank Gog that he didn’t hear; you might as well have died if he did. Saying ‘I love you’, just what is wrong with your think-pan? You hit yourself in the head, ignoring the pain; you deserved it for being an idiot. You begin cleaning, though your mind is elsewhere, because honestly you still need to beat yourself repeatedly for doing that.

You glance over at John who is mopping the ground; he wasn’t really looking anywhere, whistling a rhythm less tune. He glanced over to you and for a second your eyes connected, you felt your face heat up. Oh Gog would he realize you had been staring at him? He either didn’t notice or didn’t care as he looked away and continued mopping, this time intently staring at what he was doing.

You sighed,  he didn’t feel the same way, and it was so hard to accept, you still hoped one day he would just come up and say “Hey Karkat I love you!” or like or whatever, just something that said he felt more than friendship towards you. You knew it was unlikely but you could still dream.

You blink, noticing you have finished, you really liked dusting, and you always finished so quickly. You look at John who is still mopping; you walk towards the kitchen wanting to ask him what you should do next.

“Hey Egderp” you call out before you even enter the room, you see him raise his gaze to look at you.

“Yea Karkat?”

“I finished dusting, what the hell do I do next?” He glances around, trying to figure it out; you continue to walk over, why does the kitchen suddenly seem so far away.

“Well I guess you ca- Oh God Karkat look out!” he stops midsentence yelling out to you, you dont really understand why until you look down. Your foot is heading right towards the bucket, you freak out, not because it’s a bucket but because it’s full of water and you dont want to get wet. Though life seems to be against you as your foot lands in it, you stumble a bit and feel yourself fall back.

“Karkat!” You hear him exclaim. You look at him and he seems to be right in front of you, was he always that fast? He reaches out to you grabbing your shirt, and what happens next makes you wish you spent more money on your clothes. The shirt rips, why you buy the shittiest brands ever is a mystery to you, and a startled John falls down with you. The bucket flies of your foot with all the action, the water flying out and dousing both of you in its soapiness.

You are panicking at the moment, a million questions running through your mind, why haven’t you hit the ground yet, why is John falling with you, why the fuck are you a cheap prick who bought the crappiest brand of clothing ever, and most importantly why are you, you?!

=== > Attempt to be John

John does not want to be himself at the moment, so he is unintentionally making it so you can’t either. With a sigh you go back to being the other guy.

=== > Be Karkat again

You are the annoying cheap prick again, and you have finally hit the ground. John, because you just have fan-fucking-tastic luck, landed on top of you.

You set your face to a frown, even though on the inside you are smiling and embarrassed as fuck. Sure it’s not the right reasons but John is on top of you and is staring at you and only you. Oh if you were any less manly you would be swooning right now. You take a glance at the cute derp that is on top of you, he is staring into you with those adorable blue eyes. Have you talked about those eyes yet? No? Then you are going to do that now. Those eyes are bluest thing you have ever seen before, they are also the clearest things you have ever seen, and the most pretty and the most a... you realize you are rambling. This tends to happen when you think of those impossibly blue eyes. You have spent countless hours looking at them, not that he knows that though.

You realize you have been like this for awhile, why hasn’t he gotten off? It’s not like you mind, but still shouldn’t he be spazzing apologies by now. You take another quick glance, you might as well keep staring if you’re going to look ever two seconds but oh well, and you notice he’s staring at you, but he doesn’t really seem there. He has some faraway look in his eyes and it makes you squirm.

“Egderp?” Nothing.

“Egbeeeeert?” Again nothing.

“JOHN!” Still nothing, what is this, you said his name you basically never say his name, it makes you feel awkward. Anyways you said his name, he should be all unicorns and rainbows right now, why is he still spaced out.

You sigh, until he gets of you, you are stuck here. But again you dont mind this.

=== > Successfully become John

You have successfully become John. Congratulations are in order considering last time you failed. On topic you are now in John’s head and are able to see what is troubling the boy so.

Predictably it is the troll beneath that is causing the strange behaviour.

You are caught staring at him, his once gray eyes are now reddish, they are still not done filling but they are approaching it. You find them more beautiful every day, and you resist the urge to just kiss him.

=== > Fail to resist, kiss the boy.

You fail to resist. You know your next action is stupid and well stupid and could ruin your relationship but keeping this bottled in will wreck it eventually. You take a deep breath, you are kind of terrified.

Oh god, no maybe this is a bad idea; you know you probably should tell him. Sharing your feeling and all that jazz, but could really do this? Maybe talking it out is better.

You lied earlier, you are able to resist.

=== > Fine then, let’s be the other guy

You are again Karkat Vantas, who is still quietly fretting. You have been like this longer than you’d expect, John has yet to be normal again; well whatever normal is for him. You have still been calling out to him but he is still ignoring you.

You actually kind of want to get up now; your back is starting to hurt and your getting cold from being wet for so long.

“John...” You turn your head to the side not wanting to look at him. “Can you... err get off me” you blush this is the most idiotic demeaning thing you have ever done. Seriously apologizing to this fuckass is very beneath you... yea beneath you.

=== > John: Snap

Oh God

Oh God

Oh God.

Did Karkat seriously just say that to you! You think you see a slight blush on his cheek, never has the male seemed more attractive to you.

You lean in close, your noses are touching and you can feel his breath on you. It smells like cotton candy and mint, a weird combination but you like it.

You hover over him, not sure if you should continue, there is probably no turning back now but still, you could always say this was a joke. He would be mad at you for awhile that was for sure but still it was a possibility.

=== > Karkat: Freak out

Oh Gog! Just what is going on in that retarded derp’s head? Leaning in so close, this better not be one of his retarded pranks. You will choke this bastard by neck if he does so and then repeatedly hit him in the think pan. You feel your chest organ beat a lot faster than normal, you are so pissed how dare he make you feel this when he is probably joking around.

“HEY FUCKASS GET OFF OF ME! JOHN! DERP! RETARD! LISTEN TO ME!” You continue to rant but you are obviously being ignored, you are so mad right now. Like this shit isn’t even funny.

=== > John: Ignore ranting

You can vaguely hear Karkat yelling, probably obscenities at you but that really isn’t important. You have a million other more important things floating around your head to worry about his angry ranting. It happens often enough, it’s probably not that important.

You do however notice his lips and how they move, you lick your own, perhaps you did fail to resist.

=== > Screw reason! Kiss. The. Boy.

And this time you do.

You kiss the boy and it is better than you ever could have imagined.

You are ignoring how Karkat might react to this, if he rejects you, you will at least have this moment, it will be yours to cherish forever. You close your eyes, a dream like feeling covering you, this is a magical thing, how could have ever rejected him.

=== > Karkat: React to this

You are Karkat Vantas, and boy are you reacting to this. You are currently lost in a pit of your own feelings trying to decide what the fuck to make of this.

This can’t be a joke can it?

No. Not even the derp is this much of an asshole... but does that mean he likes you back?

You are feeling slightly dizzy but you dont care, you close your eyes and enjoy this moment. You have been waiting for this moment for six years; you are going to enjoy the fuck out of it.

=== > John: Realize you should probably ask him how he feels about this

You snap your eyes open and stop kissing him, more than sad at the lack of Karkat.

You hear him growl when you move away and your heart drops.

You’ve ruined everything, he hates you, and he didn’t want this. You should have known why are you such an idiot.

=== > John: Abscond

You abscond the fuck out of there, you hear him call after you but you ignore him, you can’t face him.

=== > Karkat: Chase after what’s yours

No away are you letting him get away. He kissed you, he liked it, and he is yours now.

You feel something inside of you fill with glee, and you smile, it’s small and barely noticeable but it’s there. You realize you running, you have no idea when you started but you are.

You love being a troll sometimes you are naturally more athletic than humans, and it helps that even after all that went on in a game John has never been the most athletic person.

You catch up to him easily, grabbing his wrist and forcing him to look at you. You gasp, he’s crying and it makes your chest clench and hurt.

=== > John: Face the music

You realize what you did was stupid and wrong, but you couldn’t help it you like him... no you love him. And because of your actions he hates you. Why do you fail so hard?

You look at him through your tear stained eyes, he’s frowning, does he pity you? You dont want his pity. You begin to cry harder.

“K-Karkat, I’m so so s-sorry” You manage to say between tears, you wish you were a stronger person, so you didn’t look like a complete idiot right now. “I know you probably hate me...” you see his eyes widen, you dont think of what that could mean. “But... but I love you.”

The grip he had on your wrist is now weak, barely there, so without support you collapse to your knees, tears freely falling splashing the ground and leaving wet spots.

You wish you had Dave’s powers so you could go back in time and prevent this from happening, make things right, be a smart kid and just keep this all bottled up, you continue to cry the thought only making you sadder.

=== > Karkat: Process what the fuck just happened.

You are currently confused as fuck; your think pan is hurting from what just happened. Right now you have a sobbing John on the ground in front of you, why won’t he stop? Oh Gog this is making you so frustrated.

And then suddenly, like the little hamster that lives in there started running again you remember the events that just happened. You are now standing there dumbfounded, John said he loved you, he honestly did, the warm feeling you felt earlier now feels a hundred times warmer and it makes you even happier. And then you backtrack a few seconds and realize he’s crying because he thinks you dont like him back.

He seriously is an idiot, you loved him before you love him now, and that will never change.

You crouch down in front of him and lift his chin, tearstained blue looking into grayish red.

“John...” you see him flinch slightly, you are extremely glad you are able to not snap at him right now. “I... I could never hate you.” his tears are slowing and you can’t help but feel happy.

“Y-you dont?” He sniffles, voice unbelieving.

“Of course not you nook sniffer.” you see him smile, as if insulting him is a good thing.

“Karkat! That makes me so happy!” he hugs you, and although you can’t see him you know he’s beaming. “But uh...” he looks off to the side obviously uncomfortable. “Do you feel the same way.” He giggles awkwardly. “Oh Gog is this how you felt Karkat? This seriously sucks you know.”

You push him of you, making him look you in the eye. “My feelings for you never went away you dumb nook licking derp.” You blush, horribly covering up your embarrassment with insults.

His smile became even bigger; you didn’t even know it was possible for someone to smile that big. Before you even know what’s happening you are pushed to the ground again a smiling Egbert on top of you... again.

“Hey Karkat~ you look really pretty without a shirt!” you look down just now remembering you were shirtless, seriously how do you forget that. He giggles.

“Shut up!” you want to hit yourself that was a horrible insult.

“Don’t worry Karkitty!” you glare at him “Okay okay I won’t call you that. But still no need to fret you know.” He smiles.

“F-fuck you Egbert.” He smiles mischievously and you squirm under his gaze.

“We’ll see who fucks who Kaaaarkat~~~” Your face turns a brighter red then it ever has before.

“W-what are you talking about you dumbass we just got together!” he giggles, he seriously needs to stop doing that, it’s not fair how adorable he sounds when he does that, no one should sound that adorable, it’s not natural.

“Well if I got this correctly you’ve liked me since we met, that’s six years, and I’ve liked you a good five. I think this is perfectly okay.” You sputter like an idiot, oh thank god no one is here to see this, you could die of embarrassment, or at least more than you already are.

You never do get to give a proper response as he claims your lips as his own again.

You take back your earlier words, you absolutely do not regret helping him with this chore, this is the best possible thing you could have done.

The one you loved loved you back there was no better feeling than this.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay this is the first homestuck fic I wrote, like a couple weeks back?  
> I finally got my AO3 account so I can post it.
> 
> In case I didn't make it obvious (and I'm pretty sure I did) this takes place after the game.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed it :D
> 
> (Looking back I find the use of Egderp very stupid but I'm to lazy to chaaange it, I suppose it would be something he would say though)


End file.
